Honesty…honestly it has been forever since I blogged right! I mean I only like to blog if I have something to say and lately all that has been on my mind is getting home. Well that is total garbage because I am in Paradise and had a peace about me yesterday that said to me “you’re in paradise…live it up!!” So just that my friends, is what I will do. For our last week in Roatan, Honduras we will live big and create even more lasting memories than we have already.
Over the last few weeks I have had honesty on my mind. Last night it all came to a head and Honesty is my number one mystery right now. Why have we created this harshness, and rigid black and white idea of honesty and telling the truth? We even fault people for being brutally honest. We tell the truth everyday and it is no big deal. Someone asks you what you had for breakfast, you tell them the truth. Someone asks you what your plans are for the weekend, you tell them the truth. The second that it becomes personal, or filled with emotion or ‘real’ stuff…honesty becomes insulting.
Since I have been here in Roatan I have been surrounded by people who willingly receive and give brutal honesty. Let me tell you, it has been great. I have had conversations with such depth because my honesty has been welcomed instead of criticized. Please tell me, Why is it that we run from honesty. In America we find ways to be proactive to plan for the future. We make to do list so we have everything laid out in front of us that we have to get done. We have financial planners so we can have the facts about how much money we have and how much money we need. When it comes to honesty we are anti-proactive. We would rather suffer through the unreal only to be awakened by our true reality later.
I understand why we do this, to spare the reaction and feelings of those around us and ourselves. We have all been conditioned to believe only what we place importance on. I had a friend once who was in a bad situation with a guy…He was treating her badly and I knew. I felt that weight so heavy on my heart so I told her. I told her and she lost her mind, she was in such turmoil that she couldn’t physically contain herself. I saw honesty in a raw form that day, where it caused a physical reaction inside of her. Honesty is painful. I have seen folks that invest their whole life in serving others by only giving to them. These people were confronted about their methodology and became defensive. Honesty is offensive. I know of situations at work when I was doing poorly and no one held me accountable until one day someone did. I was ashamed, Honesty is shameful. I know in my relationship when I have kept something in my heart that was meant for my husband to hear, I felt guilty until I was honest. Honesty is freeing. I have a friend who is my friend because I am honest with her. Our relationship is based upon our honesty with one another. Honesty is real.
With all the interaction I have had with honesty, I have learned there is so much gray. Honesty is not black and white. We must be sensitive to one another, we must have compassion in our delivery, we must seek the real truth, but we must be honest. We must find appreciation in people’s ability to be honest. In the world we are living now honesty is something that sits dormant in the back of our minds. We are always looking for the easy way. Using text messages vs. a phone call. (I love text messages) Using phone calls instead of a quick visit. Using a quick visit vs. a friendly conversation. Fixing dinner and watching our show (Two birds one stone) instead of sitting down and eating with our family. (I love Glee!!!) We are all about making things easy. When do we find ourselves living the hard way? When will we discover real honest relationships? Honesty is hard, it is not easy. It puts us all in a funky situation but it is real and it is valuable. It will be hard to hear it in the moment but it is to be treasured and appreciated in reality.
Man, that’s intense! I know I am not all that good at honesty…just think I should be better! Lesson Learned!
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