Tick in my Eyebrow, Good Freakin' Morning!

“O Say can you see, America…the land of the free!”  I woke up today thinking that I would look in the mirror and get the sleepy out of my eyes BUT  found a tick in my eyebrow.  Good Freakin morning! I started getting on that wagon boy! Man, I can’t wait to get back to America…I can’t wait until I don’t have to sweat myself to sleep, where I don’t live with little lizards in my house, where I don’t have to take cold showers, where I don’t have dirty feet all the time. 

But then I remembered my day on Wednesday.  I was sitting on the front of a big speed boat with a hand full of new friends writing in my journal.  I remember writing, “this is one of the most beautiful places I have ever been.  BE PRESENT IN THIS MOMENT!” I have used and WILL use that moment as a constant reminder of the importance of being present.  I began to start thinking “o say can you see, Honduras …the land of  WOW DID THAT REALLY JUST HAPPEN!”  A place where chickens are treated more like dogs than dogs are treated like dogs.  Honduras….a place where people drink Fresca in place of every other beverage.  A place where little boys walk around with their heads pointed straight up, hunting for green iguana.  A place where we have met such welcoming friends, where I can make flour tortillas from scratch and feel legit. Where I wake up and see the sun coming up over turquoise blue water.  Where I felt home for a split second when I felt so far from what I know.

The present, this I believe will be one of our biggest challenges when we return home.  I am excited to have such great experiences to hold me accountable.  To know that for three months of my life I lived in what was happening right now, at this very moment.  I have learned that sometimes living in the moment is very difficult.  Yesterday I said goodbye to a group of about 35 street boys from French Harbor.  By far the most challenging group of children I have ever worked with.  This group of boys taught me so much about meeting people where they are.  Showing up and saying, “I want to know you and love you right exactly where you are.” It is difficult for me, I am so conditioned to believe that we must always be pushing a child forward.  Making him think only of what will happen in his future and the morals and knowledge he will take with him there.  These children taught me that they must live in the moment to survive; thinking of the future is a foreign concept. My time with them was spent giving them a small piece of myself.  Giving them a small piece of my time and my love. 

As I said goodbye to them yesterday and they asked “When are you coming back?” we responded honestly with a “maybe never”.  Living in that moment was hard.  Yesterday when I walked them to the end of the gravel road with young boys  Pablo, Steven (Gringo), Harry the small, Alehandro, Willy and Jorvick hanging on my back sides and neck and they hugged me I thought living right here in this moment is hard but its real.  When Pablo looked up at me with the biggest smile and said give me the biggest hug because it will be the last hug I give you for the rest of my life. It was hard living in that moment but it was real and it was good.  I will miss these boys, and I am thankful for all the things they taught me.  The loyalty, the kindness, the way to earn ones respect, the way to meet people where they are, the way to love them when I didn’t understand how.  I am thankful in this moment!